What Happens to the Family Home in a Divorce?
When I work with clients going through divorce, one of the hardest conversations we have is about the family home. It’s never just a building. It’s where your kids took their first steps, where you celebrated holidays, where life happened. Deciding what to do with the home is emotional — and it’s also one of the biggest financial decisions you'll make during the divorce process.
If you’re facing this question, you’re not alone. Here’s what you need to know.
Is the Family Home Considered a Marital Asset?
In most cases, yes. If you and your spouse bought the home together, or even if you moved into a home one of you already owned but used joint money for the mortgage or renovations, the house is usually treated as a marital asset. It doesn’t always matter whose name is on the deed — what matters is how the home was used and maintained during the marriage.
What Are Your Options?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Here are the paths I see most often:
1. One of You Keeps the Home
Sometimes one spouse really wants (or needs) to stay — maybe to keep the kids stable, or because they’re deeply attached to the home. In that case, the spouse who stays usually buys out the other’s share. That often means refinancing the mortgage in their own name, which can be a financial stretch.
2. You Sell the Home
Other times, the healthiest move — emotionally and financially — is to sell. Starting fresh can be incredibly freeing, even if it’s hard to let go at first. The sale proceeds are typically split between you based on what’s fair.
3. You Delay Selling
If you have young children, the court might allow you to defer selling the house. That way, the kids can stay in the home until they graduate or reach a certain age. Then the house is sold, and you split the proceeds. I see this approach used when parents want to minimize disruption in their kids' lives.
What Factors Come Into Play?
When deciding what happens to the home, the court — and your attorneys — will look at:
What's best for any children involved
Whether you or your spouse can afford the home on your own
How emotionally tied either of you is to the home
Practical financial realities, like income, debts, and other assets
Things to Think About
I always tell clients: Don't make this decision based on emotion alone.
Ask yourself:
Can I afford the mortgage, taxes, and maintenance?
Am I holding onto the home out of comfort or fear — or because it truly makes sense?
Would selling free me up to build a better financial future?
Sometimes keeping the home feels like the "safe" choice, but it can actually be a heavy financial burden down the road. Other times, staying put truly is the right move, especially for families with young kids.
Final Thoughts
Dividing up a life is never easy. The family home is one of the most personal pieces of the puzzle, and there’s no shame in feeling heartbroken over it. But remember: letting go of a house doesn’t mean letting go of your memories or the life you built inside those walls.
If you’re struggling with this decision, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I'm here to help guide you — with empathy, with experience, and with a focus on your future.
